THE FOLD TESTIMONIALS
Casey - The Blessing of Brokenness
“My story is really a journey through the experience of brokenness. Although I grew up in a loving Christian family, I struggled with intense longing and emptiness, even self-hatred for many years. I couldn’t explain these feelings and tried filling the void with relationships and distractions but I was never satisfied. I struggled with self-abuse and suicidal tendencies, which were inevitable in my downward spiral. I was stubborn and proud and blind, yet I was also scared and lost – terrified that no one could save me, so I thought I was doing the best I could. This led me to utter hopelessness.
“I knew I needed a change (what I really needed was a heart change!) and that process began when I made the decision to enter The Fold. Gradually, I climbed out of my haze and looked up to realize how that Christ had been standing there all along, reaching out, just waiting for me to notice Him. He took my hand, and led me through the hardest and most painful thing I have ever done—letting go of the person I thought I was and all that I thought I knew about myself.
“It was not an easy process because it took me so long to trust God; I was so afraid that this would be just another in the series of dead ends in my life. But God showed me over and over again that He never ‘flaked out’, never ran away, and never gave up on me. I learned about relying not on my emotions (or understanding) but on God. I also discovered that even when it looks and feels like He won’t provide for me, I can believe in my heart that He is and always will be there, giving me everything that I need and truly desire. Lamentations 3:19-24 (MSG) is a passage that has been an anchor during my time at The Fold.
‘I'll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness, the taste of ashes, the poison I've swallowed. I remember it all—oh, how well I remember— the feeling of hitting the bottom. But there's oneother thing I remember, and remembering, I keep a grip on hope: God's loyal love couldn't haverun out, his merciful love couldn't have dried up. They're created new every morning. How great your faithfulness! I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over) He's all I've got left.’
“Throughout my stay at The Fold, I was developing a relationship with my parents, getting to know them and letting them get to know me. We learned to love and encourage and support each other and how to make our home a safe place for all of us. My mom and I learned how to speak each other’s ‘language’ to better communicate our care for one another, and my dad and I also continue learning what it means to truly love and stand by one another.
“Living at The Fold, I learned about redemption and surrender (they go hand in hand). The truth is, no matter what I do, or say, or think, or feel, or even believe, it doesn’t change who I am and how God loves me; it does not change the hope I have or the future He has for me! God continues to teach me about letting go of all that I want, hope for, think I own or deserve, by giving it to Him—because it belongs to Him anyway and He will do a far better job with it. I can now stop and think, even in my darkest moments, and remember that this is the reality of my life and who I am in Christ. I remember where I’ve been and what I’ve gone through, but now I never have to go there again!
“I am now back at home living with my family again and looking forward to college in the fall, planning to study journalism, music, and philosophy. I am not certain about what’s next but I am confident that God will lead me in this phase of my life’s journey. He has given me Psalm 90:14- 17 to remind me that He is in control and the provider of my joy and strength. I feel a real passion about what God is going to do next!”
“In the words of a favorite artist of mine, “If I was unbroken, I’d never know the beauty of hope and how far grace would go.”
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