THE FOLD TESTIMONIALS
Kira - Giving Up On My Strength
Hi, my name is Kira, and I am 16 years old. As I was growing up I convinced myself that I had to be strong in order to keep from being overwhelmed by the world. But now I realize that instead of defeating the ‘world’ through my strength, I was conforming to it—that is, I was becoming everything that the world represents. I was blind, lost, and confused. Life was not good; I constantly worried about what was going to happen to me. If I tripped and fell, would I ever recover?
Today, I can say that I have found the answer to overcoming the world. It says in 1 John 5:4, "For whatever is born of God overcomes the world: and this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith." Through faith, I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, the One who is Light and Life and has overcome the world!
I grew up in a Christian home. But my dad is a workaholic, and was not very involved in my life. So it was my mom who seemed to be the one trying to keep my family together. She was caring and loving and today I believe she always tried to do her absolute best for my older siblings and me.
One of my characteristics is that I have a good memory. But that’s not always good because I remember times that I need to put behind me. I believe that Satan tried to get to me when I was very young. I was around three or four when I told my mother for the first time that I hated her. Even at such a young age, I started being physically and verbally abusive toward her. It only got worse as I grew older and I ended up totally out of control. At times my mom would call my dad to help and he would come home very angry for having to miss work…and since I was the problem, he took his anger out on me. As long as I continued to be abusive towards my mom, my dad was abusive towards me.
Many attempts were made to correct my out-of-control behavior. I was sent to a psychiatric center where the doctors tried different medicines on me. Nothing helped and no one could get to the root my problem. When I was old enough, they sent me to a juvenile detention center. I learned absolutely nothing! All of this was very hard but, looking back, it was not nearly as hard as the separation in my family. My life was not the only one with trouble.
At first, I thought that I was the reason my parents were in conflict with each other and ended up divorcing. I no longer believe that lie, but I was a very angry person and only used these events to further my rebellion. Once again, I was sent away, but this time my mom could not take me back. My options were either foster care or living with my dad; I chose to live with him.
My dad was always at work and so I took care of myself. I had no rules and took advantage of this freedom. Although I knew deep down that the partying, etc., that went with this was not the way I really wanted to live, I still believed that I was strong enough to make it on my own.
Then a new season in my life began with a phone call from my mom. She told me about The Fold and how they could help us become a family. I agreed to go to the interview but did not agree to enter the program because I wasn’t ready to admit I couldn’t make it on my own. As things grew worse, I began to realized that my mother was right about The Fold and that I needed her in my life and I needed help. So, I finally agreed to enter the program.
In the beginning, I was a very angry person. For months I got absolutely nowhere. I refused to trust authority and resisted counseling. But I gradually began to realize that the people at The Fold were different. I began to learn about unconditional love. No matter how many times I failed (which was a lot!), the staff still cared about me. Gradually, I removed my masks and trusted them to see the hurt and pain in my life.
During that time, Jesus Christ became a real Person to me and I started to grow. With His strength, I was able to forgive my dad and choose to no longer hold anything against him. Even with victories like this and things getting better, I struggled often to fully trust God. I let God do the big things but I was still convinced that I could do a lot of things on my own. All this effort led to failing over and over again until I finally had enough. I discovered that Philippians 4:13 doesn’t stop after the first phrase, which says ‘I can do all things.’ The complete verse says that ‘I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.’ So, I chose to surrender my life to Him, giving God full control!
God has filled me with His unconditional love and joy. I have an opportunity to go on a mission’s trip to Jamaica to spread what I have in Christ with others who need Him. My mom and I still have things to work on, but the anger I once had toward her is gone and our relationship grows every day. After I complete high school, I want to go to college to study nursing so when I go on mission trips I'll be able to help others physically as well as spiritually. I have learned that God has a purpose for everything (Jeremiah 29:11), and I believe He has used every trial and struggle I’ve gone through to bring me closer to Him.
We cannot overcome the world alone or in our own strength. I am His warrior in this spiritual battle and I know that my King will ultimately win. Why do I have faith that Christ will win? First of all, He promises that He will, but also, because He is the One who won the battle for my life! I pray that God will use me in my everyday life and that His love and joy will show through me so others will see that they also want a relationship with Jesus Christ!
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